U come to love not by findin the perfect person but by seein an imperfect person perfectly

2008-12-13T11:24:00.000-08:00

going KL tis few days

wun be back till tues i suppose

though i dun like malaysia dat much

but i guess its not a bad idea

going out of singapore to catch a breathe

going wif my family dat the best part

cos all expenses will be on my DAD!!!

guess we gonna enjoy ourselves

not onli my family but lynn family and some other cell grp mates

from my parents cell...

SHOPPING,SHOPPING,SHOPPING!!!

2008-12-11T11:26:00.001-08:00

Mr Aaron Lim is ORD-ing TODAY!!!
but there is so much tinks for me to finish up in tis few months

1. Find to get a job
2. Finish my portfolio and get my interview done @ Laselle
3. Plan a good birthday for myself
4. Plan and research for my course
5. Tidy up my room
6. Go build up my body
7. PAMPER MYSELF !!!!

seriously its like nv ending job la...seems like a few tinks but takes damn long to finish all tis...
wonder when i realli can finish all tis..
Say Goodbye to Kranji Camp, Welcome Back To The Society!!!

2008-12-09T09:54:00.001-08:00

finally she chose him

i knew it deep down in my heart

even though i din say it

but i knew she would return to him one day

no more living for others

from now on, i LIVE FOR MYSELF!

no more being foolish waiting for ppl

who doesnt even noe how to appreciate mi

even though i din noe wad so good abt dat guy

but i still hope she made the right choice ba

though i always hope for someone to be by my side

to share my happiness and sorrow together wif mi

but now i tink i rather concentrate more on myself

cos now is the time i paving the road for my future

wad i wanna to do, wad i gonna achieve in future

all depend on the choice i make now

2008-12-05T10:01:00.000-08:00

seriously tooth extraction wasnt as frightening as i tot it would be
today went down, bring a fearful heart,
dunno wad is install for mi during the operation
thnks to my parents who prayed wif me at the ward before
i went in gave me a peace of mind
esp my dad who was very worried abt me
though he din say anytink to me
guys dun tend to show how they feel in front of ppl
anyway i went in change into a suit and
alot of nurses there keep questioning me
finally get in le, got a drip from there and
there i fall asleep without noeing when
by the time i noe, the doctor ask me wake up, telling me operation over!
i was like huh so fast...
but soon as the effects worn off, my mouth was in great pain
as if my mouth was tearing up..simply cant take the pain man!
even up to is moment my mouth jus keep bleeding non stop
looking in my ward, every patient has someone wif em
except me cos my parents went to work and pick mi up ltr
so there was tis nurse who went over and chat wif mi, keeping me company
though i hope for someone close to me to stay by my side
but dunno why at dat point in time, i actually tink of her coming and keeping company
even though i knew dat wasnt possible at all...
now onli can look at food but can onli eat porridge
sigh! no life...

2008-12-04T10:46:00.000-08:00

now the day has come

for me to face my greatest fear

to EXTRACT my wishdom TOOTH !!!

and its gonna be all at one go...

been like dunno how many years

since i extract my tooth

God let me overcome my fear tml!!!!

2008-12-02T10:30:00.000-08:00

yest went to buy my new fone s7330

damn nice the design like it alot

but hard to use la cos its my first time using it

not so used to it yet

today went for facial and eyebrow trimming

thnks to lyn's mom, we all got a very big DISCOUNT!!!

tink i will visit her quite often at her shop

guess my dad feel quite heart pain

spending so much money

on my mom and mi tis 2 days

WAHAHA....

2008-11-30T12:29:00.000-08:00

Just updated my wishlist...
add on a few more stuffs
my birthday coming soon
for those that u tink u dunno wad to buy for me
here is a very good place to find out wad u can get for me
Lmao...

wish my eyes could tell u i always belong to u
the fact that u are irreplacable
wish im always be by ur side and protect u
my heart tells me likewise
from now on there is no more u two
there is onli me

2008-11-30T12:09:00.000-08:00

Certain tinks muz be done over tis few days...gonna make myself busy so that i can forget abt tinks which i dun wish to rmb and at least feel that im not wasting time at home...wahahaha

Going for a complete makeover soon!!!! thats provided when i get my money... time to get myself new clothes, new hairstyle and facial treatment... time to get on wif my new life...

Mon- Uploading my songs and buy NEW HP!!!!

Tue- Unpack my army stuff and tidy up my room

Wed- Ming Guang enlisted!!! gonna send him to Tekong

Thurs- Going NAFA to check up on my course

Fri- Wisdom Tooth Extraction!!! so scary...

2008-11-29T10:12:00.001-08:00

"thought we could pick up again,

but it didnt turned out to be the way i wanted"

got it from edwin msn nick

i can understand his feelings

cos i gone thru em before

i wanted to console him

but i in no position to do dat

ive been wondering

why when man starts to flirt around

women sway around him

but when man starts to be faithful to one

ended cheated of his faithfulness???

2008-11-29T09:58:00.000-08:00

"he is not the right one for me"

dats wad i heard from gina

and wad matters is i actually got to hear

everytink abt her from ppl

instead of telling me herself

since i can put in so much hardwork in her

why cant she tell me tis herself?

actually when gina ask mi if im hurt by tis

at dat point in time i dunno how to feel

or shld someone tell mi how i shld feel?

ive been hurt by her not jus tis time

and shld i say im used to it?

but nevertheless im still quite hurt by tis phrase eventually

i would jus say wadever decision we make now

jus dun regret it in the future

not jus her but mi as well

i nv regret putting in time and effort on her

cos i noe i haf to answer for my actions

since i haf taken tis path, i will answer for it

wadever u choose to do now

esp wad u are enjoying now

there's a price to pay for everytink

hope u can answer to urself as well

wadever choice u make, all the best to u

who ever guy u choose to be wif

wish u everlasting and loving

i would jus say the feeling of waiting sucks

i dun tink i will ever treat u the same anymore

say me practical or wad

but u aint the gal i used to like anymore

2008-11-27T06:22:00.000-08:00

everytink takes two hands to clap

and dat includes love

love is sometink dat cannot be forced

nor it take one of em to gif in

if someone doesnt reciprocate

then it jus seems so meaningless to continue on

maybe to others, i might lack of the perservance to carry on

giving up easily

someone even say dat muz try harder to win her heart

but i jus dun wish to hurt myself anymore

dat why i chose to withdraw myself out

and rather stand alone

cos i no longer see future in both of us

2008-11-27T06:19:00.000-08:00

no more camp life

cos i haf jus 'ord' today

actually not realli

but i jus took off till all the way

the day i ORD...

and i finally sat on my dad's new

BMW 7 series!!!

damn cool and posh and so high tech

filled wif GPS somemore!!!

super comfortable to sit

but i jus failed my FTT recently

so gonna take a longer time to hold

tis car wheels haha...

2008-11-23T11:10:00.000-08:00

time to wake up from your dream

and get on wif your life

no more dreaming, dude

its time to move on alone

2008-11-23T11:06:00.000-08:00

it jus a dream forever

tinking ur beloved would be able to celebrate wif me

my most impt 21th birthday in my life

and xmas after my ORD

would nv be realised

it would jus always be a dream afterall

so dun bother dreaming abt it

2008-11-23T10:40:00.000-08:00

how shld i feel after such tink happen to mi?

seriously its jus the works of my pride

that im unable to let go of it

until the point now nth has changed

i put in all my effort and all i get is jus a apology

i kept tinking whether its worth it or not

to do so much tink for someone

who doesnt even appreciate mi

why muz God make a fool of me?

seriously why!!!!

i realli put in my love and effort in her

but why gimme tis kinda of answer?

perhaps all along it jus a wishful part of mine

trying to tink dat she is mine

when all along she didnt tink it dat way

i try ways and means to forget her

but it jus gave me adverse effects

love is seriously sometink blind

make ppl do tinks even they themselves cant bring themselves to do

i tried to drink away my sorrow yest at daryl hse

and when im back i still cant forget

end up drinking at my hse till i realli drop

but yet the first tink in the morning

im back to the square one

how can i ever forget her?

do i realli haf to start a new relationship so as to forget the old one

like wad ppl said?

it jus pains me to see a apology msg from her

first tink in the morning when i woke up

perhaps its time i shld feel heartless like hong ming

heart as hard as stone

so dat i wun get hurt by tis kinda of tink anymore

its the onli way to protect myself

i shld jus remain numb

feeling nth at all, nth at all

2008-11-23T10:39:00.001-08:00

it end tonight....

Happy birthday to my bro...

2008-11-23T07:42:00.000-08:00

Happy 20th birthday to edwin!!!

jus wish to apologise to him yest for some matter

even though he said nth but

i guess he was kinda of angry

jus hope all the best to him in the near future!

and get back wif eileen soon!!!

2008-11-20T06:53:00.000-08:00

do u noe how much i been yearning

to hold u in my arms

and nv let u go

喜歡上了，愛上了，就是了

2008-11-18T10:07:00.000-08:00

i came across a mail today

all tis phrase realli rouched me

talking abt how a guy can sacrifice for the gal he like

even sacrificing his life for the gal he like

and all he said was tis

"喜歡上了，愛上了，就是了"
after reading it, it actually touched me

im realli held alot of respect for him

do u realise that u are all i need in my life ?

2008-11-18T09:52:00.000-08:00

finally everytink is over for her

shld i be happy or sad?

i jus feel dat she might not even haf time for me

even though she so free nowadays

tok to edwin tis few days abt my relationship wif her

today edwin actually said sometink which shocked me so much

he ask me how much actually haf i done for her

he told me he din see any effort on my part

i realised tis was true

but how can i show her my sincerely

how can i show her dat im realli true to her

and wish for her to be girlfriend?

how can i show to her i realli loved her and realli care for her?

how can i show her that she is all i need?

how can i show her that i realli wish to spend my whole life time,

caring for her and making her happy?

HOW HOW HOW????

i jus hope she noes how i feel towards her

yea i admit im someone who doesnt express much of my feelings

but dat doesnt mean she doesnt mean anytink to me

ever since i like her, she has nv been a sec away from my thoughts

it takes two hand to clap

i wonder if she is willing to spend the rest of her life wif me as well

i certainly hope its still not too late to make amendment right now

every night without fail when i doing my prayers

i nv failed to mention how important she is to me to God

i always tell Lord how much i wish to be with her,

praying for her safetly

but everytime when i mention tis,

my tears jus roll down,

thinking she is so near yet so far away from me

thinking that im such a failure

thinking i din realli grab hold of the chance

when i had it

i realli regret it very much

done and said tinks before which hurt her

im realli working very hard towards it

jus nid her to gimme a chance

jus one chance

whether its a success or not

depend on fate

but i strongly believe fate is sometink u fight for

and not waiting for it to come

busy aaron

2008-11-18T09:47:00.000-08:00

i haf so many tinks to do tis week

i dunno how to manage my time properly

Thurs- X-ray at Alexandra Hospital for my wisdom tooth, follow by Asia conference
Fri- Asia conference if i can make it, follow by ORD function
Sat- Edwin birthday
Sun- If im able to make it for Asia conference ba

but i look forward to tis coming sat

cos i can finally see her!

i havent seen her for so long

i realli do miss her

miss her smile

miss her voice

miss the times we stroll down orchard

laughing along the way

miss EVERYTINK abt her

ugly new coat of paint

2008-11-18T09:43:00.000-08:00

my room has been given a new coat of paint today

now the whole room stink like SHIT!!!

it wasnt the colour i wanted

look so gloomy

all thanks to my mom

who told me i gonna like it

so i din probe much

but today when i saw the colour on my wall

i nearly FAINT*

always tot my mom taste was not too bad

but now guess i gonna change my mind

er xin de colour!

argh!

2008-11-18T09:40:00.000-08:00

sry guys for not updating for so long...

cos my cousins came from overseas to stay over here

so as a host i haf to sacrifice my bedroom

and slp in my living room

even my lappy find fault wif me

chu pattern now ended up in acer hospital

getting serviced!

finally they went back today

lmao how evil can i be!

i finally get back my room le!

2008-10-27T07:47:00.000-07:00

recently i've decided to take up fashion management after i ORD

but den i kinda of waver le

cos among all the frens i said

no one realli tink dat im suitable

they either discourage mi or jus keep mum

no one realli encourage me or say im suitable for it

even last time when i mention it to her

she gimme dat "huh?", "sure bo?"

sigh i wonder if i realli shld take up tis course

presentation every week

am i able to handle the stress?

the definition of love

2008-10-27T04:26:00.000-07:00

recently i saw one drama and there was this guy who ask tis gal

the guy ask : "so wad is love?"

the gal replied : "love is sometink when u be wif her,

ur happiness doubled and ur sorrow halved"

isnt it interesting?

slowly i realised it sounded quite reasonable

2008-10-27T04:23:00.000-07:00

u were nv alone

cos im always behind u

always protecting and help u

in my dreams, i always dreamt abt u walking by my side

but as i turn around i found out there was onli 1 set of footstep

and i when i woke up from my dreams, im back to the reality

im all alone

it jus a dream afterall

2008-10-27T04:20:00.000-07:00

recently feel very hot tempered

maybe becos i running fever ba

but luckily i can control my temper

when will my fever subsided?

now back in camp doing duty

tml onward still nid to go for ICCT

until thurs can book out

argh!

my day at east coast

2008-10-27T04:16:00.000-07:00

went to east coast wif kit and jing an to meet up wif eve they all

though i was quite sick, i wanted to meet up wif em very much

cos we rarely meet up nowadays so die die oso muz go

haha..if not i will miss em very much!

had a pretty nice weather on dat day

daryl and i cycle together in a 2 seated bicycle

cycling around enjoying the scenery

though i was sick but lucky it din affect much

though i tell myself not to eat those bbq food

but in the end i jus cant resist the temptation

and ate some but in the end i realli feel not well

so went off wif daryl first

pang seh em there

felt so guilty sia, nxt time wun le okie?

photos will be updated soon after juan and yi send mi

2008-10-27T04:14:00.000-07:00

yea i gotten a marksmanship for my 2nd year combat shoot!!!

200 more dollar coming in my account!

nv sacrifice my fri nite for nth

but i gonna sick as a result..

certainly not worth it!

Lmao

2008-10-19T10:48:00.000-07:00

i jus realise im nth without u

the wonders of fashion design

2008-10-19T08:22:00.000-07:00

today pei daryl go out to buy some clothes

for his coming tues assignment

see how great is fashion studies!

ur assignment is to buy clothes and let ur teacher grade

and all u study is jus label label and LABELS!!!

so much fun studying sometink u like

and get to buy clothes all the time

WAHAHA...

saw ben and pris at heeren there working together

how loving can they be?

to work even the same job together

taking care of one another

im so jealous!!!

Lmao...

of course i got myself a nice jeans as well

gonna pamper myself sometime

*dats an excuse i guess?

2008-10-15T11:52:00.003-07:00

im all on my own now

Aaron, buck up will u?

pls dun let mi down

2008-10-15T11:10:00.000-07:00

Loss. Regrets. Cherish

that's what life is all abt

2008-10-15T11:08:00.000-07:00

i came across tis particular sentence

which i feel quite meaningful

well as least for mi

"If a person start to think too much, it means dat he is afraid of losing it"

well i guess it applies to all

2008-10-15T11:05:00.000-07:00

lucky i din fail myself..

pass on my first attempt

going for the final on nov 25

i admit tis time i put in alot of effort

but it does pay off

perhaps sometinks no matter how much effort

u put in it,

nothing jus come out of it

2008-10-12T13:32:00.000-07:00

woah! had a great time jus now...

since been long since i relaxed myself

perhaps i shld go there more often

photos to be updated soon...

gonna get some slp, so shag!

tml got test! cant afford to fail!!! lmao

2008-10-06T12:18:00.000-07:00

once the passion dies,everything goes down together

不要對我再說愛

2008-10-06T08:23:00.000-07:00

不要對我再說愛,你回來

可是過去再也回不來

不要對我再說愛,我還在鞦韆上搖擺

我不想重新開始後還想著原來

不要對我再說愛

我坦白,一直忘不了原來

不要對我再說愛

我害怕我們再受到傷害

不要對我再說愛你回來

可是過去回不來

不要對我再說愛

就讓我

一個人靜靜搖擺

一段愛從不明白

到明白

我的眼淚才慢慢流出來

真的，我没事

2008-10-06T08:20:00.000-07:00

真的，我没事
On and on, the pain goes on
And it wouldn't just wouldn't die
我竟远比想像中软弱且无能为力
对你的眼神选择了
逃避恨自己恨自己
On and on, the pain lives on
It's hurting so much more
就像我被悔不当初的罪恶吞去
惩罚过后能否带来解脱
I'll be fine
I'll be fine
So many cried, listening to God
让坚强不只是种伪装
So many lies, listening to you
天亮后
I will be fine On and on,
the pain goes on and
I just don't know how to cope
伸手抱住自己是否就能够不再空虚
最后信念别放弃
I will be fine
I will be fine
So many cried, listening to you
希望你能再给我力量
I will be fine So many lies, listening to you
什么时候
I will be fine
当我再也不对任何事期待只剩下你只剩下你
有天当我舍弃一切见你请你要微笑不语
So many cried, listening to you
希望你能再给我力量
I will be fine So many lies, listening to you
什么时候I will be fine

2008-10-03T12:38:00.001-07:00

its been a long time, from past till now

my new watch

2008-10-03T12:28:00.000-07:00

my dad is the best!

yest came home and he call mi to go his room

i was wonder if he has a favour to ask

guess wad?

when i go in, saw two watches on the bed

he ask mi which one i like, he gif it to mi

LONG LIVE DADDY!

he told mi he went taka wif his frens

bought 2 of it back

and when he told mi the price

i nearly FAINT*

OMG F**king EX!!!

700+ for a watch and he jus bought 2 without tinking

lucky he gave one to mi

or i sure gif he a piece of my mind

WAHAHA...

dunno wad brand oso cost dat much

it call SMALTO swiss watch...

my dad is the best

made my day jus like that...

2008-10-03T12:27:00.000-07:00

imissthosetimesbutidontthinkitsthesameanymore.

2008-10-02T11:54:00.001-07:00

The only way to love is to realize that it can be lost.

2008-10-01T13:34:00.000-07:00

some things we jus cant pretend nth has happen

and walk away wif it

no matter how hard we tried to run away from it

deep in our heart, we knew dat the problem

still exists

finally we chose to ignore each other

pathetic isnt it?

2008-09-26T11:43:00.000-07:00

can someone tell mi wad i shld do now?
im realli at a loss of wad to do
been tinking so negative abt stuffs lately
esp when i saw her blog yest
at first i was still quite happy
but when i look at the comment
it turns out to be sometink i feel so unpleasant abt
even my mood take a big turn
finally come back home happily
till being so down abt it
so hard to handle my own feelings
how i wish i can forget everytink now
and start afresh
without having to worry and tink so much
if i can i rather lost my memory
just lose confidence in myself...

2008-09-26T11:40:00.001-07:00

seems like i been losing control of myself lately..

been having mood swings lately..

am i being too emotionally affected recently?

esp today i lose my temper at hongming

becos of a small misunderstanding

lucky meng tuck came and tok to mi abt it

dat i realised i wronged him

though i apologise to him thru

wonder if he is still angry wif mi abt it

i hope not, well hope he will recover soon enuff

Im so sorry!

篮球火

2008-09-26T11:32:00.000-07:00

recently i haf been watching tis drama serial 篮球火...

damn freaking nice please!

of course its all abt my favourite basketball la...

haha..best recommended!

yeah 我是 superman, yeah 我是 superman, yeah 我是 superman, yeah 你是 LOSER!

2008-09-21T06:11:00.000-07:00

when i lose myself, i tink of u

2008-09-07T03:29:00.001-07:00

time cant erase a feeling this strong

puppies for sale!!!

2008-09-07T03:23:00.000-07:00

tml atec liao
sigh gonna book in soon
jus dun haf the motivation to go for outfield tml
even though its the last one before i ORD
hope we get a recon 1 so i can get a few weeks off
jus came back from pasir ris de dog farms
wow there were realli alot of cute puppies
there were a pair dat realli catch my attention
wif gleaming blue eyes
how stylo can dat be?
soon gonna be my turn to own a dog
jus gonna wait till i ORD
its been always my dream to own a dog since young
though i had one when i was very young
but dun haf much memories of dat moltis
would u believe if i tell u,
u are the cause of my insomnia every night?

2008-09-01T12:54:00.000-07:00

i hate u, i hate u, i HATE u !!!!

i hate u for influencing my thinking,

affecting every decision i make

and most importanly

unable to FORGET u

hungry ghost! lols..

2008-09-01T12:45:00.000-07:00

did i scare the hell outa of u?

today hong ming birthday...

went out to bugis to meet em for lunch

sometink made my day today

there were actually a bunch of gals

telling mi dat wo hen shuai

lols...

how bold can nowadays gals be

but anyway i feel damn song la

though i was abit shocked and shy

i jus said thank you and walk away

went on to vivo for 4bia

wasnt dat scary as i thought

though gals were crying out everywhere

and cuthbert was shouting "kanina here and there"

bet he scare the hell outa of him

sianz tml night muz book in le..

nxt week finally atec is here

kinda of happy and kinda of nervous

if get atec recon 1 den 1wk off...

woah! hope my battalion do well ba

break saf history once again!

GET SOME! (my company slogan)

2008-08-23T02:36:00.000-07:00

sick sick sick !!!!

my fever keep coming back

nevertheless tml AHM

still haf to turn up tonight at Padang

no matter how unwilling i am

sigh!

2008-08-22T02:23:00.000-07:00

there's no fear in love

and true love casts out all fear

i strongly believe in that

Burberry black label wallet

2008-08-22T02:11:00.000-07:00

finally gotten my burberry black label after finding it for so long
no matter how much it cost, i must lay my hands on it! wahaha...

only japan has it !!!

though it simple in design

but better dan to go out wif everyone

having it ba...
let the picture speak for itself ba...

2008-08-22T02:09:00.000-07:00

if u love someone, set em free

if it's meant to be, she will return to me

2008-08-15T12:53:00.001-07:00

recently i jus love to listen tis song whenever i go

even before i slp

tis song seems to be expressing wad im tinking

everytime i listen, it jus makes mi tink of her

there's was a time we were once happy together

sometime when i listen to tis song before i slp,

my tears will start rolling

u once ask me if u were realli important to mi

i given u the answer wad i felt deep down from my heart

i used to dream both of us happily together

but now all i've got is nightmares, seeing her drifting further

so what if i haf everytink, when i oredi lose u?

fall for you

2008-08-15T12:48:00.000-07:00

Secondhand Serenade- Fall For You

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting

Could it be that we have been this way before

I know you don't think that I am trying

I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breath

Because tonight will be the night that

I will fall for youOver again

Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day

I swear it's true

Because a girl like you is impossible to find

You're impossible to find

This is not what I intended

I always swore to you I'd never fall apart

You always thought that I was stronger

I may have failed

But I have loved you from the start

Ohhhh

But hold your breath

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you

Over again

Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another dayI swear it's true

Because a girl like you is impossible to find

It's impossible

So breathe in so deep

Breathe me in

I'm yours to keep

And hold onto your words'

Cause talk is cheap

And remember me tonight

When you're asleep

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you

Over again

Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another dayI swear it's true

Because a girl like you is impossible to find

Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you

Over again

Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another dayI swear it's true

Because a girl like you is impossible to find

You're impossible to find

my new hangar..

2008-08-15T12:24:00.000-07:00

went to ikea jus now wif mg and maosen

and not to say their gfs

didnt wanna go wif em at first

coz i dun haf the mood plus im jus like a extra

following em to shop

while they are toking, i jus dun wish to cut their conversation

bought myself a DIY hanger and some stuffs

sometime i jus wish to tell em

dat i dun wish to go wif em

becos i jus feel so weird alone

and seeing em toking to each other

jus makes me tink of her

which i dun wish to let myself suffer

after dat went to meet wayne for supper

finally he got his job at STI

good luck on ur first day on tues!

he told mi he saw her at city link

seems to be in a rush to somewhere

i told him its was none of my business where she went

but in fact deep down i was very concerned abt her

jus dat i dun wish to tok and tink abt it

well finally back home!

gonna start working on my hanger

den i haf my nice sleep and forget abt everytink

is that realli possible?

2008-08-14T12:28:00.001-07:00

Becos of u, i become strong

Becos of u, i learn to sacrifice

Marche ...

2008-07-27T06:28:00.000-07:00

went out wif ming guang and ruo xuan to vivo
we went to marche for dinner
realli had a great time there
we eat around 100+ close to 200
wad great eaters we are
best tink is
I DUN NID TO PAY A SINGLE CENT
coz ming guang won
$2000 CASH VOUCHER
so in the end all expenses on him!

thnks pal...

thats jus the start..there's more to go

Dopie Slipper !

2008-07-27T06:13:00.000-07:00

finally gotten my DOPIE slippers!!!

bought a orange one
though it was quite a price to pay for it

but i tink its alright ba coz its the first item i bought

using tis month pay

coz im learning to save up my money

dan to spend anyhow

dats my promise i made to someone

well been saving up few hundred

for the past months

certainly it was tough at first

unable to buy stuffs dat i like

gona spend money wisely

2008-07-12T05:37:00.001-07:00

all my life, i pray for someone like u

and i hope u feel the same way too

yes, i pray that u do love me too

certain tink wif certain ppl

2008-07-12T05:29:00.001-07:00

i jus came to realise sometink

after reading the post and reply

that actually whether ppl find certain stuff fun or not

is thru the ppl and not the place

she could tell u dat its boring

nothing to look at

when u ask her to go

yet she could look forward and go

when she is wif her frens

when both are at the same place

AHH...how strange can dat be?

she jus cant see or hear my existance afterall

its time...

2008-07-08T02:50:00.001-07:00

saw her blog yesterday, i wonder if i one the one she is referring to in her blog...
i hope not...if it is, then all i say is im sorry
why cant i stand so firm when i tell her the decision i made dat night
why does my heart melts when i saw her dat day
why cant i jus let go of sometink which doesnt belong to me at all
why keep clinging on to someone when her heart doesnt contains me
WHY?
well i see dat she still does noe how to enjoy herself, going clubbing , shopping
with or even without me..
why muz i be so moodless jus becos of her?
we hasnt been smsing or chat for weeks le..
its obvious enuff for me to stop being so silly and carry on wif this mistake
for someone which u dun even communicate or see her
so what if she keep saying she cares for u?
its nothing but all talks and no actions
coz i jus cant simply feel it
thats certainly not the way it shld be if she realli feels for me
maybe i oredi made a stupid mistake when i fall for her 9 months ago
well i haf been sowing practically for 9 months yet i reap nothing
so gimme a reason why i shld continue doing so?
u do hurt me that much too jus in case u din realise that
from the way u treated me
all i wanted was jus like normal lovers
yet im behaving like im all alone
im not the one u are seeking
its time i guess
good bye my friend

CARNIVORE!!!!

2008-07-08T02:30:00.000-07:00

from my previous post i mention i went out yesterday wif my section mates to tis buffet restuarant,

CARNIVORE serving brazilian food...

not a bad place to eat wif friends or ur loved ones...

nice ambience and peaceful over there

u can enjoy the sea breeze which i loved the most!

like what the signboard says, tons and tons of meat

coming all for u serving u in a very unique way...

of course all tis doesnt come cheap cost me 50+ dollar for it

but it does keep me real full

i jus loved dat place surely i had a great time wif my friends there

if there is a chance, i hope i can bring her there some day

well back to reality, time to shed some fats after eating so much!

below some fotos to show u guys how it looked like..

the passadors

the outdoor view

the entrance of carnivore

wasteful weekends

2008-07-08T02:24:00.000-07:00

been a waste of my off again, as usual...
doing nothing much, jus tis few days like to drive ming guang car
driving around, fetching ppl here and there and hone my driving skills
fri morning book out till tonite..
nothing much achieve...

fri- doing nothing slacking at home, at night meet maosen, wayne and mg
sat- went gyming wif bin and yi at night went to catch 2 movie, 21 and hancock
sun- went to service wif her after dat went to crystal jade for lunch and home again
mon- went out wif my section mates to vivo, catch a movie and eat buffet, went out wif mg go ikea
tues- slacking home again, booking in later...

wad a unfruitful long weekend, totally no life!
why other ppl can full use of their to spend time wif their loved ones yet i cant?
jus cant understand why i've been wasting time, waiting for her to ask mi out...

keep fit

2008-07-08T02:20:00.000-07:00

been getting quite discouraged lately...

ppl haf been telling me i getting more and more fleshy recently

i been noticing dat too so i dun dare to eat much

no matter how hungry i am, i jus pressed on

made a pact wif Hesheng,

every mon, wed and fri we go for gym-ing

tues and thurs we go for run

sat and sun is a off for my body!

muz keep fit, dun wanna haf a belly...

Recon 1 for ATEC ...

2008-07-08T02:12:00.000-07:00

been long since i post blog le...

finally got sometink nice to share...

for my atec stage 1,

i gotten recon 1 for my section battle drills !!!

meaning i gonna get another badge for recon 1 from our

1WO Nicholas Tan Heng Kiat, our RSM...

lols.. well certainly it means another achievement for me

as my whole section been looking forward for tis award

as we keep telling ourselves we muz thrive hard for it..

our pc oso give us additional half day for my section for the effort we put in...

plus 3 days off...

but today the last day le...

sigh!

wad a waste...

looking forward to atec stage 2

den ORD lor...

finally can escape from the clutches of the evil one

hehehe

2008-07-08T02:06:00.000-07:00

Without Me

Season changing

Another year goes by too slow

Blurry memories

Must be getting old

Too much pot and heroine

Too much crack and coke

I am waiting- devastating oh

Anytime at all

Just hear this song

Any days too long

Just turn it on

With or without me holding you at all

Anytime at all

Just hear this song

Any days too long

Just turn it on

With or without me holding you at all

Take a pink one

Pick a red one Sir Devil

Give me a reason

To be standing tall

Could you wake me form misery

Don't wanna be alone

Walls are closing

I am floating oh

Anytime at all

Just hear this song

Any days too long

Just turn it on

With or without me holding you at all

Anytime at all

Just hear this song

Any days too long

Just turn it on

With or without me holding you at all

will i be able to hold u at all?

2008-06-09T17:59:00.000-07:00

who doesnt haf a past

wad matters is he/she is willing to change

how could ppl use it to condemn em

when they haf oredi turn over a new leaf

at least telling u honestly

is sometink i felt i shld do

rather dan keeping it from u from the rest of ur life

i tot u would be understanding

and understand my intention

who noes u are jus looking at mi from the other angle

if i can put down everytink jus to be wif u

who say i dun love u

if ur ego matters so much to u

den im realli understand how much i mean to u

where i can put down my dignity and apologise

becos i love u

yet u remain no confidence in us

wad else can i say

when i haf done everytink

to prove to u dat i can be ur good lover

certainly wad u said to her realli hurts mi bad

so much so dat i been wondering from the start

is it realli worth to love someone like u

i place everytink in u and God

i trust dat God will certainly gimme a satisfied answer

no longer do i wanna care

do wadever u wan

come to mi when u made ur decision

in the meantime jus tink over it

we shall only come in contact when u made up ur mind

no matter how much i miss ...

i put in everytink i haf and wad did i reap in the end?

cant u feel wad i haf done for u?

Nice?

2008-06-09T07:45:00.000-07:00

as i head over to marina pier to drop aunt bess's ashes

i passed by yck dat when i tink of her again

been for days and yet nth has changed

came to noe dat aloysius and jonathan has been taking it quite well

as least i noe God is watching over em

came to noe dat aloysius has a girlfriend who stood by him when he was realli down

kinda of envy him haha

tis trip din go to waste, came to noe some of their church friends

who turns out to be quite friendly

emilly, ben and some other friends which i cant recall their name

wanted to go eat dinner wif em actually but she actually sms mi, asking mi to go eat dinner together at 7

of course i wanted la

but in the end, she took mi like a fool and make mi wait for nothing when im so hungry

as i hasnt eaten for the whole day

is it becos i give in too much dat why she take mi for granted?

im realli pissed i certainly am

like it u sms mi, if not u jus ignore mi

do i look like some kinda of toy to u?

tinks been getting from bad to worse

dat day i jus heard sometink which she said to hua hui

on the spot i heard it, my heart dies

so much so dat it petrifys

and i no longer feels the pain

when im down, where were u?

still enjoying wif friends yet i jus dun mean anytink to her

tis fits in wad u told hua hui

nice one la..

din noe i end up in tis state

and it all thnks to u

do wad u like

im washing my hands off u from now on

Im run, running away

im leaving tis place

aunt bess

2008-06-09T07:36:00.000-07:00

book out straight after guard duty

to attend my aunt bess funeral

headed down to Singapore casket

to send her down the last time

taking a look at her realli freaks mi out

she realli look so stiff

so stiff dat i hardly could rmb her

no one noes how i feel

as my tears jus kept rolling down beside her coffin

i jus cant control...

finally pastor came and pray for her

i could feel a strong presence of God

i knew God has well taken care of her

nxt we proceed on to mandai cemetarium

while we were looking as the coffin proceed

into the fire, a strong presence of God was felt once again

i jus had tis feeling dat God was trying to say

'dun be sad for i haf brought her to a place where no pain is gonna be inflicted on her anymore'

wif tis, i felt relieved though my tears was streaming down

after dat we collect the ashes

and proceed to marina pier where we all took a boat out

and travel quite some distance before it stop and aloysius dropped aunt bess ashes

into the sea, letting her be free once again

"we shall meet on the beautiful island. wun we, aunt bess?"

Till The End

2008-06-09T07:33:00.000-07:00

All these precious moments

With you by my side

Must be a gift from heaven

That's holding me all night
I don't know how I found you

I'm thankful that I have

Now that I have a love so true

To hold, to keep, to share
*In my heart

I can no longer hold inside

All of the love I used to hide

I'll always be with you until the very end

In this world there in no place I'd rather be

You are my life, my soul, my girl

You through it all I know

That you've come to see that you're the one till the end
All my friends around me

Say you'd be gone too soon

Baby I'm gonna make them see

We've found our way back home

We'll always be till the end

u will never be forgotten

2008-06-07T06:12:00.000-07:00

for the past few days im oredi depressed enuff over her

yet today morning when i woke up

my mom told mi dat my aunt had passed away last night

it jus struck mi dat hard

hard enuff to bring mi down

i cant imagine wad aloy and jonathan feels

to see her mom leaving em and join hands wif God

she realli a good mom and a great aunt to mi

i can nv forget abt the times we spend together

when she always giving mi advise

and the times i stayed over at her house

when i was young, being so naughty

and yet she was so patient wif mi

she was always very concern abt mi

even up to the day when she knew she struck cancer

i will nv forget her

i believe God will relieve her from all the pain and the worries

from her illness and her family

i will certainly keep my promise to her

to bring jonathan back into God hands once again

Rest in peace aunt besty!

i jus cant hold much longer..

why are all tis happening to mi?

pls let her return to my side

nothing matters to mi anymore

2008-06-07T06:06:00.000-07:00

its been 4 days

since dat misunderstanding occur

she hasnt forgive mi...

is it so hard to forgive someone?

is it too much to ask for?

why cant we cherish the time we haf together

instead we jus wasted our time

running away from each other

all i wan is to spend as much time wif u

why cant u understand my intention?

if u realli mean wad u said in ur blog,

den why are u doing likewise?

i realli dun understand and i guess i nv did..

its time for mi to go back camp

well another meaningless weekend and a fri off taken

all end up staying at home, doing nothing

wasting my time away

when i had plan to spend a nice day to be wif u

all on our own

sigh!

2008-06-07T06:03:00.000-07:00

would u jus let mi hold u and nv let go?

all i nid is a chance...

wun u gimme dat?

i seriously do miss ur presence around me

2008-06-06T11:48:00.000-07:00

life been hell for mi for the past few days, without her revolving around mi

all becos of a misunderstanding..

i miss her, i realli do...

miss everytink abt her..life without her realli sucks for mi

i tried not to tink abt her today so i asked maosen and xinyi to keep mi company, wanted to watch kungfu panda end up in high demand, all seats taken except first row...

so end up maosen dad fetch us to eat roti prata

who noes when i went there, i tink of her once again becos dat was the place we went to eat prata together at upper thomson road..den i realise i jus cant stop tinking abt her for a min...

i started to envy maosen and xinyi, able to spend so much time wif each other and yet very loving together...how i wish we could be like em..able to spend alot of time wif each other and very loving together..

when can we be like em?

i jus cant control my emotion anymore...

will u be there for mi now?

would u be there

2008-06-06T11:44:00.000-07:00

If I were blue, would you be there for me,
And whisper in my ears that's okay.
Would you stand by me, let me hold you tight,
And say you love me one more time.

If I feel good, would you slow dance with me,
And touch my lips with tender loving care,
Would you die for me, would you run with me,
And never look back..

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?
Would you be there..

If I will wait, would you still think of me,
And wished that you could hold me now.
Would you die for me, would you run with me,
All the way..

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?
Would you be there to save my soul tonight?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be there,
to kiss my pain away..

Would you be there?
For me..

would our relationship end up jus like the way it says?

2008-06-01T10:07:00.000-07:00

i jus love the way she is

no matter wad happen in the future

i will stand by u and never abandon u

as long im around, i wun let u shed a drop of tear

certainly not like someone who hurt u and break ur heart

i will learn to cherish u

and i will nv let u go

nv will i let u feel lonely

coz im always there for u whenever u nid mi

cling on to mi tightly, will u

jus let mi take good care of u

lets create wonderful memories together

u certainly mean the world to mi

u are all i haf now

my heart onli can contain u and no one else...

2008-06-01T09:58:00.000-07:00

EX Bolt Cannon...

after slogging so hard for tis excerise, never haf i been so shag before in a field camp especially im the basher, leading the whole company to bash thru the vegetation...his todpod so farked up, making mi running up and coming down slope so many times and refusing to hear my opinion thus causing us to waste so much time, wasting my energy, cutting down those thick bushes, getting cuts from those thorns on the branches, end up refusing to admit his mistake and delay the mission..

finally got a taste of wad is atec...

gonna train my stamina further if not i sure gonna peh san before i reach the objective...

overall everytink still okie onli the weather sucks, making us all cramp in the vehicle to avoid rain din even get to haf a decent slp for nights...

HEAT RASH on the last day of my field camp...

dat sure gonna suck!

i nid miracles !!!

2008-05-23T13:01:00.001-07:00

living at different ends of the world

barely noeing wad each of us is doing

just doing stuffs on our own

would i be used to relying by myself after so long

cant even meet up for jus a simple lunch

where nth else more can be pre-arranged

how long can we last

i often wonder

if some miracles could happen

would u be there when i realli nid u most?

nth can be done.

my hair !!!

2008-05-23T12:56:00.000-07:00

Argh im forced to cut my hair!!! especially my fringe touching the nose till now barely reach the eyebrow...all thanks to him! now i dun even dare to step out of my hse!!! hope dat my hair would grow faster dan before...

help anyone?

Truly Madly Deeply

2008-05-07T20:07:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's intuition
But some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
And there it goes
I think I've found my best friend

I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

There's just no rhyme or reason
Only this sense of completion
And in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
I think I've found my best friend

I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I've found you

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

2008-05-02T10:38:00.000-07:00

jus came back after drinking wif my frens..my bottle of martel jus got wasted in two hours..we hasnt been contacting each other for days.. i do miss her... i seriously do... but when i tink of her being together wif him, it jus breaks my heart.. maybe tinks wasnt as bad as i tink but our relationship is getting from bad to worse.. i dun understand how it could turned out to be lidat...is it becoz i cant trust her or am i realli reading too much into it? i dun wish to bother neither does she wanna explain wad is going on...im very confused, confused to the extent i wonder if we shld still be together...ltr she is going to bring him over, i realli cant stand her being wif him.. who would?i believe no guy can tolerate such tink...i wish to ask her out but it seems dat she is still angry wif mi.. i dun wish to waste my holidays doing nth at home...today i went wif tianlong to orchard but its seems dat when u dun haf the mood to go shopping, there is nth to see or go to...in the end i jus went over to the arcade and vent all my frustration there and walk for abt an hour and i head back home... she went to see movie wif him today... i been wondering when we could go out and catch a movie together for months yet she went wif him... and worse still tml she is going to bring him over for service... i dunno wad i shld do or react when i see em...seriously i wanted to tell her long ago how much i loved her and how much i cherish our time together but whenever i want to tell her, tinks always took a change..im realli depressed over her and at a loss of wad to do... i've been tinking if she realli wants to be wif mi why cant she jus spend time wif mi and not him? he is the root of the problem and to solve tis conflict is very easy.. but why cant she make a little sacrifice? am i being unreasonable and going overboard? at one point of time i tot of giving up but i jus cant bear to gif up jus lidat...wo hen bu fu shu! why shld i haf so little confidence over such a guy lidat? wo jiu shi bu neng hen sha tou ti fang qi...she realli matters to mi alot...no one can replace her position in my heart... i jus wish she cherish mi as much as i do cherish her... but i jus cant let her haf her way regarding tis matter...anytink but tis! i realli cant tolerate dat...u may say dat i possessive or no confidence in myself but i jus dun care! i jus dun wanna see her wif him! can she realli understand how i feel? im feeling dizzy, time to get some rest i been having less dan 7 hours of slp for the past 2 days... time to go to bed!

2008-04-27T07:28:00.000-07:00

feeling aint right...nothing is right...so am i ...
keep imagining things...suddenly dun kinda of trust ppl...
cant help feeling tis way...never did i wanna feel tis way...
i become very wary of wad ppl say, whether to take in wad they haf said...
times whereby i want to tell her how i feel, times i dun even say it coz i know dat she will be unhappy and i dun wish to ruined her mood...all i want is us to be together and stay happy....
but wif so many doubts and trouble in mi, its very hard for mi to go forward and ask her...
feeling so troubled lately...unless i can clear the doubts...sometime she treats mi real nice, sometime she jus ignores mi... wad can i do? do i haf the say?booking in le...i'll stop here...

but when it comes to mi, u dun even notice mi

2008-04-22T07:51:00.000-07:00

seems dat Heaven is playing a trick on mi...
when i got chance to meet her, she is not free
finally when i get to see her, dat idiot call and insist i haf to go back
so when will i ever get to see her?maybe she is used to it but certainly not mi...
so i was tinking, if we realli cant meet for weeks, will we jus live a life with both of us, busying wif our own stuff and soon find out dat actually having her/him doesnt realli matters anymore?
is she still bothered by the past? is she still bothered by him?seldom did she mention abt her trouble nor reveal her feelings to mi...
are we gonna be happy together in the future?will we be able to go far?
does she sees a future getting together wif mi? just wad are u tinking?
how i wish i can understand wad u are tinking...
why am i tinking so much? jus why? is there fate between the both of us?

So wad do u tink?

2008-04-21T01:17:00.000-07:00

i do trust u...

never haf i once felt dat u lie to mi

all i wanted was jus a assurance and a confirmation

i jus wanna clarify the misunderstanding and nid u to fill mi in

i nv wan it to happen tis way

i seriously do miss u lots...

do u?

its been a week since i last saw u...

do u haf the same feeling as i do now?

2008-04-20T20:10:00.000-07:00

i cant take it anymore...

i dun wish to care, dun wish to bother

if she doesnt care, why shld i bother?

if it meant to end up tis way, den so be it...

if she not meant to be mine, den its time to let go

i dun wish to get disappointed again anymore...

no more, no more...

no more mind games...

i jus had enuff of those...

even no matter how much i did for her, its never enuff

nv enuff to replace someone in her

if she jus wanna act as if nth happen and jus escape,

den wad more can i say?

time to put an end to it...

i dun wish to haf the feeling ascending to Heaven

and the next min u noe, u oredi down to hell...

when i tot i saw a ray of light in my world, darkness came and covered it up once again

time to go see doc! fever, flu, cough, vomit, diahorrrea

wad nxt installed for mi?

2008-04-20T01:04:00.000-07:00

so sick...fever keep coming back...doesnt seems to be recovering...went for service today, but she was nowhere in sight...heard from gina dat she is not coming le, which make mi feel very disappointed...after service went to orchard wif gina and tianlong to get sometink for cons, whose birthday is coming on the nxt wk...so no matter how sick i am, i must fulfill the promise dat i made to tianlong and go wif him...ended up buying sometink which i tink she will like it ba..well cant blog much dun feel too well, time for my medication...

2008-04-18T05:30:00.000-07:00

I try to sleep, yeah

But the clock is stuck on thoughts of you and me
A thousand more regrets unraveling,
Oooh if you were here right now I swear,
I'd tell you this

if u realli do noe wad im tinking right here, right now

Song of the day...

2008-04-11T05:24:00.000-07:00

Breathless
SHAYNE WARD

If our love was a fairy tale
I would charge in and rescue you
On a yacht baby we would sail
To an island where we’d say I do

And if we had babies they would look like you
It’d be so beautiful if that came true
You don’t even know how very special you are

You leave me breathless
You’re everything good in my life
You leave me breathless
I still can’t believe that you’re mine
You just walked out of one of my dreams
So beautiful you’re leaving me
Breathless

And if our love was a story book
We would meet on the very first page
The last chapter would be about
How I’m thankful for the life we’ve made

And if we had babies they would have your eyes
I would fall deeper watching you give life
You don’t even know how very special you are

You leave me breathless
You’re everything good in my life
You leave me breathless
I still can’t believe that you’re mine
You just walked out of one of my dreams
So beautiful you’re leaving me
Breathless

You must have been sent from heaven to earth to change me
You’re like an angel
The thing that I feel is stronger than love believe me
You’re something special
I only hope that I’ll one day deserve what you’ve given me
But all I can do is try
Every day of my life

Im finally back!!!

2008-04-08T01:36:00.000-07:00

back from india le...finally get rid of dat place...i swear nv will i step my foot down there ever again! haf tons of photos dunno which one to upload...now too lazy perhaps after a slp den i upload the fotos in here ba...by now den i realise dat my blog seemed so lifeless...lols...

Life is full of regrets!

2008-03-16T10:21:00.000-07:00

Below is a mail i saw in my inbox and i find it quite interesting so i decided to post it up on my blog. It realli made me think through alot that night i read this mail...

Regrets
As i sat in English class,i stared at the girl next to me.She was so-called 'best friend'.I stared at her long,silky hair. I wished she was mine, but she didnt notice me like that.And i knew it.

After class she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she missed the day before, and i handled them to her. She said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her. I wanted her to know that i dont want to be just friends. I love her, but i just too shy. And i dont know why.

11th Grade...
The phone rang. It was her on the other end. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love has broke her heart. She ask me to come over because she didnt want to be alone, so i did. As i sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, a Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to sleep. She looked at me, said 'thanks!', and gave a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her. I want her to know that i dont want to be just friends, i love her, but i just too shy. And i dont know why...

12th Grade...
The day before prom she walked to my locker. 'My date is sick', she said. He's not going to go. Well i didnt have a date and in 7th grade we made a promise that if neither of us had dates we would go together just as 'best friends', so we did. Prom night, after everything was over, i was standing at her doorstep, i stared at her. She smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she doesnt think of me like that, and i know it. Then she said, 'i had the best time, thanks!', and gave me a kiss on her cheek, i want to tell her. i want to tell her.I want her to know that i dont want to be just friends, i love her, but i just too shy. And i dont know why...

Graduation Day...
A day passed. A week passed. A month passed. Before i could blink, it was gradutation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like a angel up on stage to get her diploma. I want her to be mine, but she doesnt think of me like that, and i know it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and she cried as i hugged her. Then, she lifted her head from my shoulder and said,'You're my best friend, thanks!' and gave me a kiss on the cheek. i want to tell her.I want her to know that i dont want to be just friends, i love her, but i just too shy. And i dont know why...

A Few Years Later...
Now, i sit in the pews of the church. She is getting married, now. I watched her say, 'i do' and drive off to her new life, married to another man. But before she drove away, she came to me and said, 'You came!'. She said, 'Thanks!' and kissed me on the cheek. i want to tell her. I want her to know that i dont want to be just friends, i love her, but i just too shy. And i dont know why...

Funeral...
Years pass, and i looked down at the coffin of the girl who used to be my 'best friend'. At the service they read a diary entry she wrote in her high school years. This is what it says: i stare at him, wishing he was mine. but he didnt notice me like that, and i know it. I want to tell him. I want her to know that i dont want to be just friends, i love him, but i just too shy. And i dont know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me. I wished i did too. I thought to myself, and i cried...

Out to Zoo....

2008-03-09T05:38:00.000-07:00

Went out wif eve they all today to the zoo! certainly tis outing has made mi feel so relaxed but now i rushing back to camp le...today eve and henry brought little jun jie out..so funny sia abt him...anyway i post those fotos when im back nxt week if he din ask mi to fulfill those extras by nxt week ba...gosh im so tired but i realli had a great time there...

changes in mi?

2008-03-08T12:39:00.001-08:00

recently alot of ppl said dat i haf change towards my character...how come i din realise it myself?even my bunk mates said dat i so quiet nowadays, always lying on my bed staring into space and kept myself from others unlike my usual self, always laughing and cracking jokes...how am i suppose to be cheerful when im having so much problems dat too much for mi to handle?my skin prob, the pressure that i had to take during my weekdays there and her...everyday wondering when he will tekan mi, had to be caution in everytink, making sure i dun commit any small mistakes lest he gif mi extras again and my relationship wif her...i jus feel dat it seems dat we haf been stagnant for quite a long time...doesnt seems to mi dat its getting better day by day...i jus simply doesnt understand wad she is tinking...maybe love cannot be forced ba...jus let nature take its own course...if we aint meant to be, den i shld learn to let it go, rather dan clinging on, knowing there is no result in tis relationship...certainly months has passed and i haf tried my best in proving to her how serious i am towards her but it seems dat nothing works...times where by message send mi to mi made mi feel dat im actually meant sometink to her but times whereby message send to mi made mi feel dat im jus nothing...why cant i haf a definite answer?i jus at a loss of wad to do now...i dunno whether to move on or shld i gif up oredi?seriously i dun blame her coz it all depend on mutual feeling and not jus one person alone...everyday i kept tinking abt her and at night jus cant get to slp all becos of tis kinda of stuffs...haf i realli gone way too deep down?frens encourage mi to gif up while i still can but i jus dun bear to until i hear her say it to mi ...i jus wish she could realli tell mi even if its a bad news, at least i noe its time to gif it up...does he meant more to u or mi?thats all i nid to know and haf to know...well gonna turn in, tml going to zoo wif eve they all...jus wished to relieve myself wif all tis problems dat im currently facing...

i jus nid an answer, can u gimme dat?
crucify my love

Im so STRESS!!!

2008-03-08T12:27:00.000-08:00

whole of tis wk was like hell to mi ! troubles brewing after one another...im realli going to break down soon...i cant believe he actually aim to mi the core...keep finding trouble for mi, assigning mi to do all those stuffs which aint required and worse of all, he gave mi 3 extras...he such an a**hole! nv haf i experienced such worse experience before in my whole ns life...tis wk realli is a torture for mi physical and mentally...i haf enuff troubles to handle yet they din understand and chose to create more trouble for mi...all jus becoz i took a 8 day mc and few days leave to visit her...i jus wish i could let go everytink and let all my burden off to catch some breathe..why cant they jus let mi off? relationships wif my superiors now are realli getting worse and out of hand...i cant believe from very good and nice relationship can turned out to be so soured...they are realli practical..once u cant perform for em den dat when u are gona suffer! i jus felt lyk im being pushed to a corner, got nowhere to run...shld i retaliate?

problems, problems, problems! when is it gonna end?can someone pls help mi?

stupid events!

2008-03-01T05:30:00.000-08:00

argh! now off to camp again...haven book out even 12 hours now nid to go back for ATP...im the onli man in the whole battalion...out from camp by midnight...stupid weekend! stupid events! and dat stupid idiot! i din even slp for a min...damnit! how i wish i could jus slp now and haf a good weekend...Sigh! hope i wun fall asleep during my shoot sia if not more troubles will come after mi...

failure after failure!

2008-02-16T23:59:00.000-08:00

failed another attempt again! i went over to find her today, tot of giving her a surprise but ended up she gave mi one instead...it was not a good one i guess...i was so tired on my way there and i fall asleep and ended up at bedok...i was so late for my gathering wif eve they all le yet i chose to go over and gave her the present and accompany her, fearing dat she might be lonely and bored there..so i went ahead and when i was abt to step into the ward, her brother and some guys were there so i decided dat it was certainly not a good time to pass her the two gifts which i wanted to give her long ago...i prepared it for so long yet i dun even haf a chance to pass it to her! argh! how irritating is dat?so i left, feeling disappointed and went over to meet bin they all...i told her i'll be visiting her tml but she told mi not to come becos alot of family members are going tml...she told mi sometink tis afternoon which i found it to feel so sad and for some reason dat two words realli keep appearing in my head...i guess i going to hospital to see doc as well as pass her those tinks which i wanted to den i leave since she doesnt wan mi to go ba...

words can be hurting especially those words are from someone important to u...

bin bin birthday!

2008-02-16T23:00:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday to bin! hope she like the camera which we gave it to her...went to Japanese Village to eat sushi at The Cathay...got myself a stupid plate of chicken don which taste like shit but the sushi there was nice...been ages since we took alot of fotos together le...haha...den went over to Cafe Cartel dunno if i spell it wrongly for a small chit chat session...suddenly one of xinthia volleyball mate pop out of nowhere and jus came over...found him to be familiar den i realised he was one of those volleyball mates which we play together wif xinthia before...wad a coincidence, he was emily fren! lols...jus hope everytink goes well for bin and hope she realli enjoy the tink we haf plan for her...