Sunday, February 3, 2008
i realli miss her laughter and her voice, i certainly do! finally today pluck up the courage to go and visit her alone but when i went to her ward, the bed was emptied..at first i tot she was discharged and i felt happy for her of course so i went to A&E to consult doc for my bites on my body...but while i was sitting there waitin for my turn, it seems dat it is impossible for her to get discharged in her condition lidat...i went out and ask the nurse but the nurse refused to tell mi anytink dat when i realli got worried and decide to press on and ask other nurses..they told mi dat she was admitted to ICU...thats was when my heart realli sank to the btm...i got very anxious and asked her for the bed no. and proceed down...when i looked at her, i suddenly gotten very emotional...i nearly couldnt recognise her anymore...she looked so pale, wif ejected tubes going around...she looked so confused so much so dat i realli cant control anymore so i went out to calm myself down...i was tinking at dat moment why make her suffer so much...she doesnt deserve tis at all...WHY, why her! she still so young, why let her suffer so much pain?dats when my tears rolled down uncontrollably...in my life other dan my grandmom who passed away few years back, i haf nv shed a tear for others before..dat when i realise i realli din cherish the times i had wif her...if i could ever had a chance again, tis time i realli would treasure her...i wun be like last time, being so passive anymore...every nite i been having those nightmares abt her and they bound to scare mi up from my slp...physically im realli wear out yet i cant get to slp every nite...but i noe surely all tis cant even measure up to her suffering now...standing by the glass panel, all i can do is watching her suffer yet i cant do anytink for her...she did tried to speak and point out some action to mi...we are so near to each other yet so far, separating by a glass panel...i realli wish to stay beside her and take care of her but i din even get a chance to do so...i decided since praying doesnt work, i will fast for her! i hope tis time God realli would do sometink for her...let her recover and lead back to her old lifestyle again...i realli begged U...all i wan is jus to see her being in her old self...i will press on no matter wad..i strongly believe she will recover soon...maybe in her condition now her faith might be shaken but i hope she can press on jus lyk i do...cant afford anytink to happen to her again...once again i still believe in one of my favourite verse..
Be STRONG and of GOOD COURAGE, be not afraid nor dismayed for the LORD is with you whenever you go. [Joshua 1:9]
You, you are the God who will saveU surely would protect her, wont U?
i love you endlessly.
11:59 AM
Aaron