Wednesday, February 6, 2008
miss her smile, miss her laughter...everytink abt her...went to visit with full of expectancy, tinking dat she might be recovering and feeling better dan yesterday and i finally can tok to her face to face again...who noes when i went to level 10 and found her room empty, i knew sometink bad struck her again...the nurse told mi dat she went back to ICU yesterday night...Why? how could tis happen to her?when i rushed down and see her, i was so focused on wad is going on around her dat i din realise dat shawn was beside mi...i was kinda of pissed without realising why...but i din care much abt him as i was realli concern abt how she is doing now...two breathing tubes connected to her mouth, hands tied down to the bed and she was there resting...i could sensed she is in alot of agony...tis time i realli broke down, i couldnt take it anymore and once again weep for her again...how could sometink so tragic happen to her?i felt kinda of guilty becoz yesterday night was realli very tiring for mi as days went on slping around 3 hrs a day and traveling thru and fro to see how she is doing everyday so i slpt without realising and i din pray for her dat nite...gina told mi dat i was not to blame but i still felt dat it was partly my fault to cause her into such suitation...it realli hurts, hurt so much so dat i felt dat my heart was tearing mi apart to see her in such a condition...it truely brought mi alot of pain but i guess hers was much more worse compare to mine...my dad fetched mi back from the hospital, seeing mi looking so gloomy he sensed dat sometink was not right wif my emotions but he jus kept quiet there and let mi haf some time on my own...soon we pass by SAJC on our way back and memories of her came back into my mind again...i truely miss her lots, miss the times we spend together, times when she disturbed mi and times whereby we went out together...all tis memories were all clearly remembered deeply in my heart...finally reached home, my dad jus told mi one tink, wadever happen jus haf faith in Him and prayed hard for miracles to happen...dun be despair over wad has happen! wadever the case is, i jus continue to keep praying and fast for her until she truely recovered from her illness...dats the only tink i can do for her now and dats my promise to her as well! Tml is her birthday and when i come to tink of it, i realli feel very discouraged when i come to tink of it...i hope sometink great might happen on her birthday!!! i realli do hope so...
when she is not longer around by my side, thats when i found out dat she certainly holds a very special place in my heart which no one can replace...I miss u!
i love you endlessly.
1:09 PM
Aaron